What is this nagging voice in our heads whispering that we should be something more? This isn’t just a fleeting thought; it’s a deep-seated experience shared by many. What drives this urge, and what within us needs to blossom?
This universal quest has both philosophical and psychological aspects. Philosophers suggest that we are “condemned to be free,” meaning we must shape our own destinies. This gives us the responsibility and freedom to realize our potential, but it also leads to the feeling that we should be more than we are.
Existentialists introduced the idea of the “leap of faith,” suggesting that beyond our logical understanding, we need to believe in and commit to something bigger than ourselves. This leap isn’t just about religious faith; it’s also about believing in our ability to achieve significant things and make a difference.
From a psychological perspective, Abraham Maslow’s hierarchy of needs explains that once our basic needs are met, we naturally strive for love, respect, and ultimately, self-fulfillment. At the top of Maslow’s pyramid is self-actualization—the realization of one’s full potential. This drive to become our best selves fuels our desire for growth and transformation. But since we never seem to fully achieve self-actualization, we are left with a never-ending need to blossom. If you believe enlightenment is the very top of self-actualization then please explain what that is and how to get there. I digress.
Carl Jung argues that it’s a process of becoming whole by integrating different parts of ourselves. This process is crucial for personal development and fulfillment. The feeling that we should be more is essentially our inner call to move towards becoming whole and realizing our unique potential. The problem is, once we believe we have found our unique potential, we may never know if it could have been something different. Frustrating!
In my search for answers, I find that this desire for transformation is elusive. It’s not just about external achievements; it’s fundamentally about internal blossoming. Now let’s try to understand what that is.
Internal blossoming is the process of nurturing and developing our inner selves. It’s about aligning our lives with our core values and passions and finding fulfillment in the journey rather than in specific outcomes. This internal change can take many forms: developing emotional intelligence, pursuing lifelong learning, building deeper relationships, or simply enjoying a cup of coffee while being mindful.
When we focus on internal blossoming, we address the restless voice inside us that longs for that ‘big thing’ to happen. Instead of waiting for something outside of yourself to bring happiness, find joy in the ongoing journey of personal growth. This blossoming happens when you take time to reflect on yourself. Many suggest mindfulness. I say do what helps you understand what you truly want and what drives you. Focus on activities that align with your real self, like creative projects, fulfilling work, or building strong relationships.
For most modern men and women, traditional methods of internal exploration—such as journaling, meditation, or spending long hours in nature—may seem like old-school advice. Engaging in everyday physical activities like running, swimming, or team sports can also foster a sense of achievement and clarity. These activities release endorphins, improve mood, and provide a meditative experience through movement, offering a path to self-discovery and internal growth. But only if we are fully emerged in the activity.
The quest for ‘something more’ is an intrinsic part of being human. I don’t always love it and it won’t ever go away. However, I have found this blossoming to be a balancing game.
Balance self-reflection, mindfulness, and emotional growth internally with meaningful work, strong relationships, and active community involvement externally to find fulfillment. By doing this we have a chance to fulfill our deepest yearnings and find meaning and satisfaction.
Afterall, if we don’t ever find the ‘big thing’ we await, we can chose to enjoy the continuous blossoming of ourselves.
